he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
