I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
