My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize