Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
