we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
