its not stalking. its research.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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