i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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