I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
