He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
