She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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