i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
