I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
