It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
