so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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