i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
