On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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