South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
