Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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