we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize