Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I smell stomach acid.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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