remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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