Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
