So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
