what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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