OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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