ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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