I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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