She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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