good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
