I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am one with the molecules
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
