Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
