Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
