Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
