um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
