So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
