her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
