If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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