Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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