chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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