Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
