O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Farmville is her only friend.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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