Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize