Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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