we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
