You can't motorboat a personality
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
