whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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