This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
