And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
