just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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