you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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