i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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