I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
