I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
