ya dads aren't the best wingmen
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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