why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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