Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
