So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
