I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize