Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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