You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize