Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
