Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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