New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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