You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
