this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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