there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
