I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Everything about him screamed your future.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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