I must be too annoying 4 u.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
my liver is dry heaving
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize